picking flowers, moonlit and illicit, for dinner parties. (brushing off limp crocuses and white daffodil heads for a day afterwards.) cherry tomatoes and fresh pesto from the market. goblin fruit -- everything reeks of rossetti -- all plums and grapes and blood oranges and a half-peeling lemon. red wine bloody in a vintage decanter that later breaks. hands white with clay; forming little doll bodies and curling arms. the table catches flame -- too many candles -- and we watch. poetry readings, plays. falling asleep at every party I attend. dressing friends up in my nightdresses. 'pastoral vampire' -- inspired by keats, la belle dame sans merci. writing esoteric horoscopes. a green velvet dress. all beautiful, all a little unreal. so many strange dreams.